Dreams, Desire, and Disquiet
“How Can I Sleep” is a hauntingly intimate ballad that captures the quiet torment of romantic obsession and emotional unrest. In one of the most introspective moments on Tainted Euphoria, Toby Berka crafts a nocturnal meditation on longing, where love lingers like a ghost in the mind, refusing to let the heart rest. With sparse, ambient production and breathy, restrained vocals, the track evokes the stillness of sleepless nights and the ache of unresolved desire. It’s not a song of sweeping drama, but of subtle heartbreak—a whispered companion for anyone lying awake with someone else’s name echoing in their thoughts.
Lyrics
You is all I see tonight
Yes, you, until the morning light
In my dreams, only you until I rise
Only you, when I close my eyes
Haunt me in my mind, enchant my waking hours
Your fair hair I see adorned with flowers
I dream on, although it hurts my heart with every beat
All is well, for this is sweet
How, how can I sleep?
How can I keep still weeping?
How I yearn for thee
I yearn for sleep so deep
Free me from your binding spell
Release me from my lonely cell
Give me peace, give me rest here in the dark
I lie still, yet I still bear your mark
Haunt me in my mind, enchant my waking hours
Your hair I see adorned with flowers
And I still dream, although it hurts my heart with every beat
All is well, for this is bitter-sweet
How, how can I sleep?
How can I keep still, dreaming?
How I yearn for sleep
I yearn for thee so deeply
A Nocturnal Meditation on Restlessness and Longing
In “How Can I Sleep”, songwriter Toby Berka delivers a quiet, aching meditation on love’s ability to both uplift and unravel. The piece reads like a nocturne of obsession, where rest becomes impossible not because of fear or nightmares, but because of the overpowering presence of someone who has taken residence in both mind and soul. With restrained elegance and poetic flair, Berka paints a portrait of romantic insomnia that lingers with bittersweet resonance.
The singer is so consumed by their beloved that they cannot escape them, not even in sleep. The recurring phrase “Haunt me in my mind, enchant my waking hours” blurs the line between enchantment and torment, suggesting that love here is not merely sentimental—it’s near-paranormal.
And yet, the pain is willingly endured. “All is well, for this is sweet” declares the speaker, accepting the suffering as part of the experience of love. This tension—between agony and devotion—is where the song finds its richest poetic terrain. The recurring questions—“How, how can I sleep?” and “How can I keep still weeping?”—offer no answers, only emotional reverberation.
This minimalistic, melancholy approach recalls the introspective balladry of artists like Nick Drake or Jeff Buckley, where the emotional resonance is carried more by tone and mood than plot. It’s less about telling a story and more about dwelling in a moment of longing.
In “How Can I Sleep?”, Toby Berka delivers one of the most introspective and emotionally resonant tracks from his album Tainted Euphoria. Built on a foundation of ambient textures, soft piano, and breathy vocals, the song captures the quiet torment of sleepless nights and unresolved emotions.
From the opening notes, the track immerses the listener in a world of stillness and tension. The production is sparse but immersive, with each element—echoing synths, subtle percussion, cinematic swells—carefully placed to evoke a sense of emotional isolation. It’s a soundscape that feels both intimate and expansive, like a whisper in a vast, empty room.
Berka’s vocal performance is restrained but powerful. He doesn’t reach for dramatic highs; instead, he leans into the quiet ache of the lyrics, letting each phrase linger. The chorus, with its repeated question—“How can I sleep?”—becomes a mantra of emotional unrest, echoing the thoughts that keep us awake at night.
“How Can I Sleep” is a gentle but emotionally potent ballad that leans into its simplicity. While it may not break new lyrical ground in the realm of romantic despair, it succeeds as a focused, poignant portrayal of the emotional chaos that comes when love refuses to let the mind rest. Toby Berka offers a song not of sweeping drama, but of subtle heartbreak—a quiet companion for anyone lying awake with someone else’s name echoing in their thoughts.
Toby Berka 